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Home > Annual Christmas Soapbox (slightly early)

Annual Christmas Soapbox (slightly early)

October 1st, 2009 at 02:00 pm

Every year I start to get excited about the fun of Christmas...and then more and more agitated at the red suited myth surrounding the holiday. This year Digg brought the topic up long before I normally deal with it. So far no one has asked my kids what they will be asking from a mythical creature, or if the saw him in stores, and no one has gotten upset that my kids will not lie anymore than I do. Which means I found it relatively easy to type this year! No erasing sentences filled with swearing and pent up anger Smile.

Text is third comment down and Link is http://digg.com/odd_stuff/Santa_likes_some_kids_more_than_others_PHOTO
third comment down

The comment may have moved up or down since posting, but the one that caught my eye is of 4 reasons why folk use Santa.. the exact reasons I don't. Here is their post in italics with my comments after.

..... useful purposes.
1. He keeps small children from nagging their parents about presents they want for Christmas. Tell it to Santa, I have no say.


My mother taught me I could ask for 2 thing every Christmas, this made me narrow it down to what I really wanted. (good practice in frugalism) Now I let my kids ask for one thing. (though I keep my ears open for their debate) I also am very honest about why I will not buy an item. (not worth it, bad for you, going to break to fast, you already have some, not healthy, etc) No nagging, and no lies.

2. He can be used to make the kids act better. They know that I'll still be nice to them even when they act bad. I was already planning on taking them to Chuck E. Cheese's, I wasn't going to cancel or leave one behind because one kid is being a dick, so they won't believe it if I tell them they'll get no presents if they are naughty. Santa is a more distant figure, though, and they've heard from a lot of people that he knows who is naughty and who is nice.

On the contrary, my children do know I will cancel or at least keep them in the car/corner/non-fun spot for a time while the other part of the family has fun. I do not rely on the boogie man to keep my children from going round the corner either; though it would be easier.

3. It's fun to see the kids get so excited about him coming to bring them presents.

Nothing wrong with seeing kids get excited about giving presents and receiving. Do you need a false name for the giver?
My kids love all parts of Christmas, from carols and cookies, to angel tree gifts to shoe boxes. From pageants to special books, and steak dinner. Christmas is a wonderful time of celebration and tradition. I don't need any falsehoods in my story (yes I do believe in Jesus, I never make up anything to support what is believed through faith)

4. It's good training for future atheism. When they learn that it's possible to believe in something made-up just because that's what people you trusted told you was true, it's easier for them to make the jump to not believing in God.

umm yeah....I know if you have been perpetuating the myth you tell your kids 'it's different'. And I know plenty of Christians that survive the childhood lies. But why? I also know those that found the truth about Christmas the turning point in becoming atheist. Why risk it? If you do not believe in Christ, and yet still want to celebrate the holiday, why lie? Why can't you just say the whole tradition is fun and you enjoy it and you like giving folk presents?

I think the number one reason folk do the whole fantasy thing is because their parents did it. It is tradition, and those die hard. Christmas itself is a collection of traditions adapted from various Winter Solstice celebrations.

Jesus certainly wasn't born in December no matter what all those stories show you. But Christians wanted to enjoy their traditions and the church felt December was as good a time as any to celebrate the birth of our savior. The difference between Christian symbols and the red suited myth is that we believe the stories we tell our kids.

I believe Christ has eternal life, so when I tell my kids we choose evergreen to decorate as a symbol to remember His eternal life I mean it. I tell my kids we decorate the tree with all sorts of fun tidbits of our life to remind us of all the wonderful blessings we have.

We use the advent candles and crèche to remember the story. Presents recall not only the greatest gift from our Father but also the story of the Magi giving Jesus gifts (and yes I know that was several years after birth, and I tell my kids so)

No part of our tradition requires me to lie. I never have to worry that my children will 'discover the truth' I have tried to give them the truth from day one.

16 Responses to “Annual Christmas Soapbox (slightly early)”

  1. Broken Arrow Says:
    1254402659

    You said the C word! Big Grin

    But yeah, October is my "peak month" for holiday shopping. Hoping to have it done before the month is out.

  2. momcents Says:
    1254404434


    There are two sides to every story. We are a family that opts for Santa, however he isn't a point that we emphasize. We don't go to visit him at the mall; rather we see him a church-sponsored dinner were the Holy Family enters first. We discuss the lives of saints and St. Nicholas is a pretty good one to illustrate the true spirit of giving. I wonder what these folks would say about the South American tradition of the Christ Child bringing one gift to a child at Christmas?! And comment 4 totally annoys me!

  3. Petunia Says:
    1254404697

    We "let" Daisy believe in Santa, but we never played it up. (ie, I never said "You better be good or you won't get anything from Santa.", only once had her picture taken with Santa, talked more about Jesus than Santa, we don't have Santa decorations, etc.) When she finally really figured it out in this past year, I told her "Santa" was a game we play with younger children. I suspect she held off asking because Santa at our house brought a nice gift! I don't recall being crushed when I discovered the truth about Santa.

    It worked out for us, but I've heard lots of stories about people who had a hard time when they found out the truth about Santa.

    I would have skipped Santa entirely, but I didn't think I could pull that off!

  4. creditcardfree Says:
    1254404961

    Well said! My kids "know" now and it hasn't seemed to have been an issue. We didn't over play it either. In hindsight...I wish we had skipped it only because, as you point out, I'm not sure what purpose it served.

  5. Mommyof3 Says:
    1254406492

    Here are my reasons for continuing in the tradition of Santa. Santa is more than just toys. Santa is a good role model. Santa gives out of the goodness of his heart. Not just for the publicity! Santa provides the spirit of giving. Every year my children and I have a discussion about what they are going to give. We go to a toy store and let them pick out a gift for a child in need. Then we stop by a food bank and give the gift to a child we see there. Seeing my children beam at making someone esle happy is the best feeling I have ever felt!! We also pull tags off the giving tree at church. Each child is responsible to buy a gift for this child from their allowance. They wrap it themselves and always turn it in before the deadline. It is the best gift I could ever give my kids. The gift of a caring heart. Yes, I could teach this without Santa, but I am not a flawless example the way he is. Also, when they do get older, and realize that I was the one who provided the gifts, we can have the discussion about giving without expecting something in return. Giving just for the sake of making someone else happy. It is the best way to give. Santa also teaches them that it is ok to believe in things you do not see. I still believe in the spirit of Santa. There were a few years where we were really struggling. We had a mound of debt, babies in diapers, and no cash. Sure enough, we found a way to have a tree and a few gifts for each person. We found a way to scrape up enough for our Christmas dinner. That was Santa at work. As I have grown older, I have noticed how the same person who is too busy to hold the door open for you any otehr time of the year, becomes a softer, caring person come Christmas time. It amazes me how the masses of people who are always too busy for common day politeness become warm hearted and cheery close to December. My goal is to teach my children this and help them hold that feeling in their heart the entire year, not just at Christmas!

    As for lieing to my kids, I have done that. Not just about Santa. When my son was first learning to draw, I applauded his artwork. It was not anything impressive, it was squiggles and scribbles, but I made over it like it was a masterpiece. That is lieing. When I told my daughter that her ballon that she lost in the wind went up to heaven and made Grandpa very ahppy, well, that was another lie. I do not feel that telling these types of lies are bad. My children seem to be very thoughtful, caring, intelligent children. I do not feel bad telling falsehoods to them to help encourage them and build their confidence. Childhood is very short. I hope my children will look back with happy memories! I know I sure do!!

  6. princessperky Says:
    1254408560

    Everybody has to make their choice. I made mine not to lie, and to homeschool among others. Never said you all had to agree with me.

    As to drawing, I call my kids scribbles what they are, wonderful amazing scribbles, because I watch and wait as EL struggles to get the crayon to mark on the paper, and I applaud that for the achievement it is. I don't have to lie, it is wonderful to see her learn to mark up paper.

    Later it is wonderful to see UE choose colors, and describe what he scribbled. Still further on I see GMC and JC making real figures, OK so GMC mostly goes with stick figures-I don't applaud the art much, I applaud the story that goes with it. JC is learning how to make animals and people that actually look like animals and people, she is better at drawing than I am. I never said it was Monet, or Raphael, just that it is impressive.

    BTW I find strangers more short tempered at Christmas...especially the store clerks!

  7. momcents Says:
    1254409068


    We all want to raise healthy and happy kids. I've worked in both an adolescent psychiatric unit and a NFP home for mentally and behaviorally challenged kids. I can personally tell you that none of the problems I saw resulted from finding out the Santa was a myth. And I've met plenty of homeschooled kids who are happy and bright and well-adjusted individuals. As long as we parent without the intent to harm, I think we'll all do a decent job.

  8. monkeymama Says:
    1254412639

    Oh boy. I think it's just so different for everyone. I don't view it as "lying" at all. It's "fun." I personally am so glad I had that little childhood fantasy. Beyond that, it is merely tradition. All I have is fond memories of Christmas and Santa, so why wouldn't I want to give the same to my children.

    In these discussions, it's rather moot for my family. The kids already know, so there isn't any lying. The day my son seriously asked me if elves were real, I told him the truth. No, I would never outright lie to my child. For that I agree. He no doubt told his brother. But the little one could care less anyway, he lives in a fantasy world anyway.

    Interestingly, my husband was very happy he did find out because as an atheist he didn't want him believing fantasies and such. The day he figured it out my spouse felt he had done his job as a parent. He was impressed we had a young critical thinker. I can't say I Was the same as a child - another child had to tell me the truth and I didn't believe them!

    Which leads me to religion and Christmas. My spouse's family is very Catholic and yet I have never seen any amount of religion in their Christmas celebration. Beyond dragging us to Midnight Mass once or twice in our younger years. That's it - it is not celebrated as a religous holiday as far as I Can tell. I think part of it is they know it isn't a real and true Christian holiday. Obviously it is not JEsus's birthday.

    I grew up in a melting pot and everyone celebrated Christmas - no matter what the religion for the most part. To me it has come to mean a winter tradition or an American holiday. What is funny is now that we live in a much more white/conservative area, my atheist and Jewish (understandably) friends are VERY anti-Christmas. They get really pissed off that we would celebrate the holiday as atheists. It's like, hello? Is there really anything remotely religious about the celebration of Christmas? When it comes to Santa and Christmas Trees? It's an American Holiday, plain and simple. As such, the anti-Christmas sentiments in schools and such? I just think, "You have got to be kidding me." No, the word Christmas doesn't offend me. Now, at my child's school they celebrate a million international holidays, to embrace diversity, but we can't celebrate easter or Christmas, at school. (The area has gotten much more liberal). Gotta love it.

    There is no doubt the masses go crazy at Christmas. Ugh! The funny thing is we do really focus on Christmas as a time of giving. That is the mind boggling thing to me about dh's family. To them it's little more than "spoil the kids rotten." I don't like the commercialized Christmas thing, at all, that is for sure. I think it's become something rather ugly. I give you that!

  9. monkeymama Says:
    1254412686

    Oh boy. I think it's just so different for everyone. I don't view it as "lying" at all. It's "fun." I personally am so glad I had that little childhood fantasy. Beyond that, it is merely tradition. All I have is fond memories of Christmas and Santa, so why wouldn't I want to give the same to my children.

    In these discussions, it's rather moot for my family. The kids already know, so there isn't any lying. The day my son seriously asked me if elves were real, I told him the truth. No, I would never outright lie to my child. For that I agree. He no doubt told his brother. But the little one could care less anyway, he lives in a fantasy world anyway.

    Interestingly, my husband was very happy he did find out because as an atheist he didn't want him believing fantasies and such. The day he figured it out my spouse felt he had done his job as a parent. He was impressed we had a young critical thinker. I can't say I Was the same as a child - another child had to tell me the truth and I didn't believe them!

    Which leads me to religion and Christmas. My spouse's family is very Catholic and yet I have never seen any amount of religion in their Christmas celebration. Beyond dragging us to Midnight Mass once or twice in our younger years. That's it - it is not celebrated as a religous holiday as far as I Can tell. I think part of it is they know it isn't a real and true Christian holiday. Obviously it is not JEsus's birthday.

    I grew up in a melting pot and everyone celebrated Christmas - no matter what the religion for the most part. To me it has come to mean a winter tradition or an American holiday. What is funny is now that we live in a much more white/conservative area, my atheist and Jewish (understandably) friends are VERY anti-Christmas. They get really pissed off that we would celebrate the holiday as atheists. It's like, hello? Is there really anything remotely religious about the celebration of Christmas? When it comes to Santa and Christmas Trees? It's an American Holiday, plain and simple. As such, the anti-Christmas sentiments in schools and such? I just think, "You have got to be kidding me." No, the word Christmas doesn't offend me. Now, at my child's school they celebrate a million international holidays, to embrace diversity, but we can't celebrate easter or Christmas, at school. (The area has gotten much more liberal). Gotta love it.

    There is no doubt the masses go crazy at Christmas. Ugh! The funny thing is we do really focus on Christmas as a time of giving. That is the mind boggling thing to me about dh's family. To them it's little more than "spoil the kids rotten." I don't like the commercialized Christmas thing, at all, that is for sure. I think it's become something rather ugly. I give you that! In my corner of the world, people seemed to have lost sight of the point.

  10. momcents Says:
    1254414353

    Monkeymama, as a very Catholic family, I'd cannot disagree more with your statement that

    "Which leads me to religion and Christmas. My spouse's family is very Catholic and yet I have never seen any amount of religion in their Christmas celebration. Beyond dragging us to Midnight Mass once or twice in our younger years. That's it - it is not celebrated as a religous holiday as far as I Can tell. I think part of it is they know it isn't a real and true Christian holiday. Obviously it is not JEsus's birthday."


    Our liturgical calendar is based on the birth of Christ (Advent) and the death of Christ (Lent). The twice-a-year going Catholics miss out on everything that our faith has to offer. I personally don't need to know the exact dates for this to be one of the two central events in my faith/spiritual life. Seems to me that your DH's family might not be as Catholic as you think.

  11. miz pat Says:
    1254416309

    What do you mean there's not Santa Claus? Of course there is. He doesn't come down chimney's - He's Saint Nicholas from Asia Minor - a third century saint who was tossed in jail for smacking a priest who denied the virginity of Mary.

    The red suit and Claus are just versions of him from northern countries.

    His feast day is celebrated on December 5 and he was a wonderful man, a bishop who gave away all his wealth to the poor.

    I don't have kids. I do teach sunday school and I always tell the kids about Saint Nicholas.

  12. dmontngrey Says:
    1254418272

    Whoa, you just opened my eyes to something here. I honestly didn't know there was an argument against Santa! I sure could see myself going that route - but DH would NEVER go for it! I'm already feeling very strongly against the whole gift giving tradition in the first place. I am so sick of people giving me STUFF!

  13. princessperky Says:
    1254419398

    I never said there was no Santa Clause..very careful to never say that..just as I am careful not to say there is no Shiva. I do not argue religion. (I tell my kids what I believe, but I do not argue religion online)

    My kids know a great deal about St Nicholas, as well as many other countries versions of a fellow giving gifts at Christmas time (in wooden shoes, in stockings, old fashioned Christmases, boxing day, wildflowers instead of evergreens, ect, done in high summer vs winter-culture of Christmas and winter/summer solstice is the topic of many a conversation in December.)

    We found a wonderful website last year with all kinds of cultures listed side by side with what they call the gift giver and when he comes (Christmas day or 12 days later, or Dec 5th) As well as some common gifts, foods and celebrations. (candles on the head anyone)

  14. LuxLiving Says:
    1254427116

    I ran into the same ethical question for myself when the kids were little.

  15. snoopycool Says:
    1254503829

    PP - care to share that site? I'd like to see it, too!

  16. princessperky Says:
    1255111305

    found it!
    Text is history and Link is http://www.lone-star.net/mall/main-areas/santafaq.htm
    history
    Lots of interesting history, Last Christmas we did all sorts of googling on just where Myra was, and who stole them and what a basilica was. It was interesting. Dunno what will catch the kids interest this year.

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