I must be an anomaly, I do not like housework, but I do feel it is a job that needs done, and checking it off my todo list gives me a sense of accomplishment./
I was speaking to someone out of work who said they wonder the house feeling depressed....because they are not accomplishing anything.
While I would be depressed to not have my kids to take care of I have plenty on my todo list that would give me a sense of accomplishment to do.
Then when I got home I vegged out with a snack trying to stop my brain from thinking and a comedy was on where the mother wanted to go back to work, because she had nothing to talk about but the kids...
Now I do think one sided life is boring..I have other things to talk about besides my kids, but I also take great pride in my youngest learning to pronounce 'th' as well as my oldest latest math feat....not that I did them, but I was the facilitator, like a manager taking pride in a team that works well...my family is my team, I am co manager (with my husband) why wouldn't I take pride in our accomplishments?
Is it so terrible to feel a clean house and well educated kids are worth my time? Am I completely out of touch with what is worthwhile that only I find a full day at home more than enough work? Is it only because if I wanted a paid job I would be a teacher that I find my work here worthwhile? If I was by nature a computer tech would I hate teaching and learning with the kids? Or would I simply teach them more about computers than writing?
I do not understand any desire to spend your whole day at a job for someone else simply to be able to say "I did that" at the end. At the end of the day I may have had a good day, or a bad day, but regardless, I don't need anyone else to say "good job" to feel it was worth trying.
Why isn't 'housework' rewarding?
April 9th, 2008 at 02:43 pm
April 9th, 2008 at 03:14 pm 1207754096
April 9th, 2008 at 03:18 pm 1207754303
Of course the kid thing I don't get. There is nothing more rewarding than my kids.
But to be fair to your friend. I love my job. It has little to do with "I did it." I just enjoy my time there. I would be bored to tears at home. Home with kids? Different story. But it's not exactly my thing either. My husband and I play to our strengths though it's not traditional. To be fair, your friend may just prefer working, her strength may be in keeping more busy. If I didn't need to work financially I would certainly be out doing something. Volunteering, going to school. Just out. It's my nature. If I didn't have to work financially, I'd hire a maid because I just hate that kind of stuff.
But I do understand SAHPs get a lot of flack and then tend to take things personally. Don't take it personally. We are each just different.
April 9th, 2008 at 03:30 pm 1207755041
April 9th, 2008 at 05:58 pm 1207763913
Sometimes I wish I worked just to have something challenge me in a different way. But it is a fleeting thought and when my children are grown I can do something else if I choose (I'm sure I will, but who knows).
PS - I cannot tell you how accomplished I feel when my house is clean. I'm working around 4 children, the oldest almost 6. That's not easy at all!
April 9th, 2008 at 06:07 pm 1207764428
I teach, run a taxi, drive a tractor and bobcat, feed cattle, gather eggs, accountant, cook, house cleaner, run a lawn service, run a laundrymat, a baker, run an ironing service, am momma to a herd of kids, cattle, chickens, rabbits, dogs, horses, ducks, I am a nurse, fence repairer, seamstress, gardner, personal shopper...
Do I find it rewarding???
YES but I will find it more rewarding as my family ages.
In 10 years does it matter that I worked as a clerk in an office or store somewhere?? NO.
But, in 10 years does it matter how my kids & family turned out as a result of my staying home?? YES
April 9th, 2008 at 06:30 pm 1207765806
And right now the good job part doesn't qualify, I have been on the computer all morning with scout work, so the house is a wreck..but the kids are fed
Somehow I think I would be bored to if all I did was clean (no matter how much it does need done) fortunately I have plenty of other tasks to distract me from the cleaning
April 10th, 2008 at 12:25 am 1207787100
April 10th, 2008 at 01:40 am 1207791616
April 10th, 2008 at 02:17 am 1207793839
I don't have kids yet, but I often think that when BF & I get married, it would be wonderful to be able to stay at home and manage the house & future kids instead of trudging off to work. But at the same time, I have a feeling that it would get "old" to me, staying home every day and only focusing on housework/kids/cooking, etc. I know it's alot of work, but I just think it would get boring to me.
Plus, I think because I come from a household where the moms always worked outside the house AND did the housework/childcare, I don't see why you have to pick one or the other. My siblings and I turned out very well and I was able to get a full scholarship to college, and that was with my mom working full-time, sometimes even two jobs. Perhaps that's why I think you can be successful doing both, especially if you have a DH that is doing his share.
Different strokes for different folks I guess.
April 10th, 2008 at 04:18 pm 1207844286
As to staying inside, I know lots of SAHMs who really fail at the 'home' part..they are with the kids, just not at home with them
April 10th, 2008 at 07:47 pm 1207856869
I try to do a little each day. I can't do marathon cleaning sessions because of my back and preventing flares. I like to listen to talk radio and a friend of mine uses the time to pray and medidate.
I think there is something truly giving in maintaining a peaceful clean home for your family, but at the same time being relaxed enough to not freak out if something gets out of place.