Home > Why isn't 'housework' rewarding?

Why isn't 'housework' rewarding?

April 9th, 2008 at 02:43 pm

I must be an anomaly, I do not like housework, but I do feel it is a job that needs done, and checking it off my todo list gives me a sense of accomplishment./

I was speaking to someone out of work who said they wonder the house feeling depressed....because they are not accomplishing anything.

While I would be depressed to not have my kids to take care of I have plenty on my todo list that would give me a sense of accomplishment to do.

Then when I got home I vegged out with a snack trying to stop my brain from thinking and a comedy was on where the mother wanted to go back to work, because she had nothing to talk about but the kids...

Now I do think one sided life is boring..I have other things to talk about besides my kids, but I also take great pride in my youngest learning to pronounce 'th' as well as my oldest latest math feat....not that I did them, but I was the facilitator, like a manager taking pride in a team that works family is my team, I am co manager (with my husband) why wouldn't I take pride in our accomplishments?

Is it so terrible to feel a clean house and well educated kids are worth my time? Am I completely out of touch with what is worthwhile that only I find a full day at home more than enough work? Is it only because if I wanted a paid job I would be a teacher that I find my work here worthwhile? If I was by nature a computer tech would I hate teaching and learning with the kids? Or would I simply teach them more about computers than writing?

I do not understand any desire to spend your whole day at a job for someone else simply to be able to say "I did that" at the end. At the end of the day I may have had a good day, or a bad day, but regardless, I don't need anyone else to say "good job" to feel it was worth trying.

11 Responses to “Why isn't 'housework' rewarding?”

  1. merch Says:

    Manager? You are the CFO and CEO of the family.

  2. monkeymama Says:

    Eh, I have to say I HATE housework. You clean it, it's nice for a few minutes, and then right back to square one. Drives me MAD. So if my life was housework I might have to shoot myself. Likewise, kudos to anyone who can do it. I have mad respect for that. HEck, I do do most the housework anyway. I just don't do it that much as a result. LOL. But of course it has to get done and someone has to do it.

    Of course the kid thing I don't get. There is nothing more rewarding than my kids. Wink & I do see that it is not generally respected when people stay home and take care of their kids. I think it's a sad state of our society. As a working mom I get it. My husband stays home; my mom was a SAHM. Neither have ever gotten much respect for their choices. Which I find a terrible shame.

    But to be fair to your friend. I love my job. It has little to do with "I did it." I just enjoy my time there. I would be bored to tears at home. Home with kids? Different story. But it's not exactly my thing either. My husband and I play to our strengths though it's not traditional. To be fair, your friend may just prefer working, her strength may be in keeping more busy. If I didn't need to work financially I would certainly be out doing something. Volunteering, going to school. Just out. It's my nature. If I didn't have to work financially, I'd hire a maid because I just hate that kind of stuff.

    But I do understand SAHPs get a lot of flack and then tend to take things personally. Don't take it personally. We are each just different.

  3. Joan.of.the.Arch Says:

    Well, I'm going to say it anyway: Good job!

  4. snoopycool Says:

    Being a SAHM or SAHD is like a diamond in the rough sort of a thing. You have to be in tune to find the beauty in it, especially today. The world is geared toward glamour and physical beauty and money.

    Sometimes I wish I worked just to have something challenge me in a different way. But it is a fleeting thought and when my children are grown I can do something else if I choose (I'm sure I will, but who knows).

    PS - I cannot tell you how accomplished I feel when my house is clean. I'm working around 4 children, the oldest almost 6. That's not easy at all!

  5. mom-from-missouri Says:

    When people ask me what I do, I tell them I am a stay at home farm wife who homeschools, and sub teaches in the public sector on the side. The idots then repeat, but what do you do??? The smart ones reply you must be busy...

    I teach, run a taxi, drive a tractor and bobcat, feed cattle, gather eggs, accountant, cook, house cleaner, run a lawn service, run a laundrymat, a baker, run an ironing service, am momma to a herd of kids, cattle, chickens, rabbits, dogs, horses, ducks, I am a nurse, fence repairer, seamstress, gardner, personal shopper...

    Do I find it rewarding???

    YES but I will find it more rewarding as my family ages.

    In 10 years does it matter that I worked as a clerk in an office or store somewhere?? NO.

    But, in 10 years does it matter how my kids & family turned out as a result of my staying home?? YES

  6. princessperky Says:

    I never said I liked housework, I would hire a maid if I could!

    And right now the good job part doesn't qualify, I have been on the computer all morning with scout work, so the house is a wreck..but the kids are fed Smile (and the youngest has counted to 4 a bazzillion times...)

    Somehow I think I would be bored to if all I did was clean (no matter how much it does need done) fortunately I have plenty of other tasks to distract me from the cleaning Smile

  7. nanamom Says:

    I hate housework and it shows but I love my kids which ast this point number 4 )2,3,4,4) due to some extras visiting for a month. I am sure I won't know what to do when I take them home next month! I am also sure it won't be housework! At least no more than I have to! DH does dishes. I handle everything else.

  8. dtjunkie Says:

    When washing a sink full of dishes, I usually feel sort of "accomplished" after wards. But theh again, I usually only wash dishes once a week.

  9. sillyoleme Says:

    I can understand that you are happy staying at home and dealing with all the work/stress/joy that brings. But I think some people are just wired differently, like myself.

    I don't have kids yet, but I often think that when BF & I get married, it would be wonderful to be able to stay at home and manage the house & future kids instead of trudging off to work. But at the same time, I have a feeling that it would get "old" to me, staying home every day and only focusing on housework/kids/cooking, etc. I know it's alot of work, but I just think it would get boring to me.

    Plus, I think because I come from a household where the moms always worked outside the house AND did the housework/childcare, I don't see why you have to pick one or the other. My siblings and I turned out very well and I was able to get a full scholarship to college, and that was with my mom working full-time, sometimes even two jobs. Perhaps that's why I think you can be successful doing both, especially if you have a DH that is doing his share.

    Different strokes for different folks I guess.

  10. princessperky Says:

    Having spent a total of 10 minutes on housework (dishes and lunch, kids did breakfast) so far today..I really don't get why folk think staying home is just housework...(spent a good 3 hours working with one or more of my 3 kids on education, and another 20 on naps/pottys - and about 45 on my own potty breaks, but that is just cause I am pregnant!)

    As to staying inside, I know lots of SAHMs who really fail at the 'home' part..they are with the kids, just not at home with them Smile I do think different families need different dynamics, whether mom or dad stays with the kids (or a split) doesn't matter. But I do not feel taking care of kids should be relegated to 'unimportant' whether done in the home, or out and about it is important work, an IMO should take time, and be as rewarding as work done for a boss.

  11. homebody Says:

    I used to "hate" housework, now I actually enjoy it, feel a sense of accomplishment about it, but it may be partly because now that we are empty nesters, it stays clean longer and is easier to do.

    I try to do a little each day. I can't do marathon cleaning sessions because of my back and preventing flares. I like to listen to talk radio and a friend of mine uses the time to pray and medidate.

    I think there is something truly giving in maintaining a peaceful clean home for your family, but at the same time being relaxed enough to not freak out if something gets out of place.

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