Today is not a good day, not good at all.
First UE pooped in the tub
And we have no bleach, I have bleach in my cleaner, but I wanted to just leave the toys soak in bleach for a bit….But I can't...
Then I discovered I have to wash the swim stuff again. No one line dried them last night.
Then JC missed the potty...and tried to clean it up herself, she is soo 'helpful'. Did I mention we are out of bleach?
Now GMC tried to pour himself a drink, of red koolaid, we aught to ban red koolaid. (we water it down and it is a rare treat, but that isn't enough anymore)
I am about ready to fall asleep at the keyboard, and the kids are making a HUGE mess with toys today (they usually do, but today it irritates me)
Oh and to top it all off, for some reason I can't get my hair stick to stick without hurting me...
And of course the ILs may or may not be stopping by at any point, but I wont know cause I don't have a phone....
And I yahoo searched a photo of 'annie' the girl from the movie....do you know what you find when you search a girls name on yahoo? Closed that quick.
And btw I feel insulted by something someone posted...ain't that a waste of feeling! good grief. It is anonymous, online, no one knows me from Adam, why would I be insulted?
One good thing, DH found Annie for me. http://www.americanphoto.co.jp/photosearch/Previews/CIN90331...
Tomorrow, the sun'll come out tomorrow, wonder if it would mind hurrying up a bit?
Archive for June, 2006
Today is not a good day, not good at all.
The ILS brought the frame for JCs 'ladder bed'. It was at one time a bunk bed for my husband and his brother so the headboard and foot board are 'laddered' so a kid can climb up it easily. It will never be a bunk bed cause the holes to connect them were filled in. Which is fine. anyway,
We need to get a mattress for her, and while we are there we are finally going to get one for us. It will have to be delivered, and we have to find free time to go pick it out/pay for it. but now that we have the frame we can. I can't wait.
JC says she would like a pink bedspread, since it is summer we can take all the time in the world to find the 'perfect one'.. OR something that will last her into the teen years anyway. No fad blankets for her, we need something she wont mind using now and in the future, not to mention soemthing that will be versitile and go with any future sisters bedspread....(not perfect match, just in the room non clashing)
Ok so I am not one of those people that has to plan everything down to the minute, in fact I am rather flexible, things can change in an instant and I can usually come up with a way to roll with it. Often still accomplishing some or all of my immediate goals.
This is a big but, I like to have some clue to start with so I can make contingency plans and so I knwo what goasl must be accomplished.
So this whole thing where no information is known, or partial information is given or misinformation passed along really irritates me.
Wanna know what the plans are for today? so do I, so do I...I hate being powerless
So awhile ago I tried to concentrate on fitness for amonth. it didn't work to well. I could list the excuses but I already spent the entire month doing that!
I pretty much go to the pool everyday, and you might think that is useful, but it isn't. I mainly hold UE while the other two play. (BTW did I mention GMC can swim the whole 25 meter length of the pool?-dogpaddle) sure I bounce UE or swing him around, but it just doesn't equal a daily 1/2 mile walk.
So I need to find more time, I need to MAKE time for me to work out other than the pool. I am debating on before the pool or after.
I already wont go to the pool till I have dishes, laundry and breakfast taken care of, but that is mainly for the kids..I mean I do most of the work, but it helps them know what we have to get done. Most days that is not to hard and we get out the door on time (pool opens at 10) so adding something to the work sounds semi reasonable, but then it might take longer.
I dunno, maybe I am just to busy making excuses to get out of toning the abs!
FIL and BIL came last yesterday and put it up!
I love it, it still needs doors,and I am a bit worried about splinters inside, but it is the right size it makes my kitchen look so much bigger, and I can't wait to put stuff under it!
I really really want to diss my MIL...
For the week we canceled bibleschool so that we would be here to see them....
Day one it rained...and we managed fine, we had a contingency plan and we got a phone call earlyish telling us that the day was rained out, plus there was a baseball game from the other cousin. No big, we had to go to the store anyway.
Day two: "if we come before 12:30 we willlook for you at the pool" This leaves me with the expectation of an early afternoon visit.
-At 12:30 I wasn't supprised they weren't here, they were afterall only saying 'if' -at 1:30 I was happy UE wasn't napping anyway, so I wasn't really ready.
-at 2:30 I thought i shouldn't make pizza I will be flouring up the kitchen and in the way.
-at 330 I thought I should have made pizza...and gone to the pool.
-at 430 I thought I shouldn't vent at DH he doesn't need to hear it.....
-at 5:30 (after dinner was cleaned up) I decided to come vent online .
In prep for them comming:
-I had the kitchen cleaner and clearer of 'stuff' (even moved the chairs out) so they had nothing to move when they put the bench stuff in, ...
-I kept the kids toys to a minimum so they would be easy clean up (good as my kids can be at clean up it all goes out the window when we have company)
-I carefully ran an extra load of laundry so that my kids were wearing clothes that grandma brought for them (dressed them that way yesterday too..)
-I cooked grilled cheese, I can make extra if they do come and no leftovers if they don't...not to mention the nbo pizza so I am not flouring up the kidtchen.
-I left the air on, albeit at 80 not the 75 we will turn it down to if they ever come, but still.
I did all that for nothing...Now I know things come up, and yesterday I might not like it, but no big, it is hard on vacation, and today it shouldn't be that big of a deal...I am only annoyed at wasted effort, cause I am lazy, and effort is well effort .
I keep saying 'things come up' over and over to myself...do you think it will work? Will I stop being annoyed anytime soon?
Actually yes, after putting it all down here for the world to see I do feel better..for now....'Course I will feel like a heel if they ever see this!
Unschooling is the most common term for 'desire led leaning' or 'child directed learning' or 'unstructured learning'
And it goes totally against what most of us were indoctrinated to believe.
Unschooling mainly means, not forcing a child to learn. Not sitting them down for X number of hours (and not finding extra work to fill said hours) Not having a predetermined timeline set by average kids.
Bit different from the 6 hours mandatory for learning, the rest for fun. But in fact it is more like the origional word 'school' it meant free time in Greek, and apparently lots used their free time to learn. Unfortunatly now free time is for TV or playstation while school means work... I think we messed up in translation.
But how do you know they are learning? What if they learn the worng things? What if they don't learn anything? What are they doing if you are not making them sit for schoolwork?
Those are all the questions I still have about it. I don't have a lot of answers but the more I look into unschooling the more I reinforce two lessons.
lesson one: Unschooling can be used as an excuse to not teach period, or even worse as an excuse to not parent. I hate this lesson, every time I see unschooling used I cringe in fear that it will be another bad example of not parenting or not teaching.
Lesson two: I am an unschooler! I like this lesson. While I hate being lumped in with the first type of parent, I love being lumped in with the actual desire led learners.
I love seeing new ways my children learn without busy work. And an added bonus, it is cheaper..well not really. It is cheaper on busy work (why buy it if you don't want to use it) but more expensive in that your children have time to check out everything and anything, and we want them too! So we buy the violin weather or not our kid will complete training and be a master, we just want them to check it out. We buy the paint set weather or not our kid will be the next Da Vinci, we just want them to check it out. The hard part is being frugal while providing all the opportunity. The easy part is finding interest and time.
We live in a different world, a world of helathfood, and structure, and rules, and excersise and.... it is weird when visitors from the other world (the one we used to live in) come visit!
Yesterday for a treat we were given apples, the kids love apples, green ones, or yellow...we never eat red....apparently the visiting teens preffered my yellow to red too (I used to only eat red, now it is only green or yellow)
We were also given some bread and cheese product in a mini pack...you paid how much for 5 tiny sticks of bread and some fake cheese like substance? (I used to too)
Shopping we were offered new shoes for JC, she has 4 pair, more than anyone else in the house, and one of each 'kind' known to man (well worn in summer) oh except flipflops...she doesn't need new sandals, though yes they were cute. (I used to buy shoes just cause they were cute, had no room for em, got em squished, ruined)
I appriciate the attempt to treat, and I actually appricate how hard it can be, normal doesn't work for us. No sugar en mass (small quantities yes) no fake food en mass (share it with daddy). We make it so hard!
Then there was the conversation about sitting at a TV w.... the conversation about why we didn't rewind the movie for the kids to rewatch I don't actaully want them to watch an hour two days in a row! I remember when DH and I would sit blankly in front of the computer like that, but I would never want my kids to live like that.
As long as I never forget that I too once did all that I am going ot enjoy the benifits of living with my 'different view' And I am sooooooooo greatful my husband is here with me! I couldn't live if he wasn't on my side helping keep the kids healthy.
interesting article from another blog here http://www.harvard-magazine.com/on-line/010682.html
"What about food? Surely, families are eating out more and buying shopping carts full of designer water and exotic fruit? In fact, today’s family of four actually spends 23 percent less on food (at-home and restaurant eating combined) than its counterpart of a generation ago. The slimmed-down profit margins in discount supermarkets have combined with new efficiencies in farming to cut more costs for the American family.
Hmm so I am spending less than my grandma did to feed my kids? And the article goes on to note other areas are cheaper now, appliances ect...
so why am I able to be a SAHM?
"What happens to the family that tries to get by on a single income today? Their expenses would be a little lower because they can save on childcare and taxes, and, if they are lucky enough to live close to shopping and other services, perhaps they can get by without a second car. But if they tried to live a normal, middle-class life in other ways—buy an average home, send their younger child to preschool, purchase health insurance, and so forth—they would be left with only $5,500 a year to cover all their other expenses. ..."
That is the secret, I do not live a 'normal' middle class life (BTW I livein middleclass suburbia, but our wages are 'poor' - partly because it is just him working) I have the middle class house, and one middle class car...thats it...the rest is all frugal..even the homeschooling, it is way cheaper to homeschool thant to have to get a second car and pay for all the other 'stuff' that coems with school..especially at the younger ages. I could never afford to send my kids to public school!
Another question I now have...why is loan sharking legal nowadays? I mean even in the dark ages it was at least labeled as such..you borrowed off the mafia, you were asking for trouble or the dirty grungy guy in a back alley.....but those nice people in suits don't really look like the mafia...they just loan like it....not that the libertarian in me needs any more regulation...just I dunno....I hate to see people taken advantage off with pages of legalese..and such.
A short while ago (by historic standards anyway) You couldn't keep your lunch hot or cold for hours on end. Sure you could pack up a lunch in a pail, but who knows what temperature it was when you ate it. Ona hot day, prolly super hot, tin pail, lots of sun...In the winter prolly frozen, tin pail, ice and snow around...
So either you ate it the way it was, or you devised some odd way to keep it cooler/hotter. Like burying it with a hot stone, or by the fire, (good way to lose it/get it burned up) or you let it drag in a cool stream (real good way to get it eaten by an animal of sorts.) In general you had a bit of a problem. but if you needed to be working all day and didn't want to walkk hom, you suffered.
Nowadays we have coolers that will keep ice frozen for 24 hours, and insulated thermous' that will keep hot foods hot for 12, so why do we hardly ever pack real food? Oh sure you see lots of people packing pop and potato chips, but how often do you see someone packing dinner? or lunch. One that doesn't come out of a vaccum sealed bag? What is the point of all that tech, if it is just used to keep ice umm ice?
So I am getting good at this now, aside form the simple PBnoJ I managed to take yogurt, I put the frozen fruit in the bowl and added yogurt, the frozen fruit helped keep it cool!
A couple spoons a drink or two and some crackers completes a simple lunch.
I also have been expiramenting with the 'calzone' I am sure the inventor is lamenting the abuse I am giving, but it is working.
Aside form pepperonni we used beef n carrots, chicken (out of veggies!) bacon and green peas.
The crust is like sourdough bread, so it is pretty versitile going with anything (but not really all that sour, it tasts like pizza crust mostly) The only trouble is you have to bake it, that heats up the house a bit, but it is still pretty cheap.
For snacks I figured out if you wrap a knife and a peeler in a towel no one gets hurt, then put it and a mango in a box in the bag (less banging against the leg while walking.) Proly work for apple too, just havn't done that yet.
We ran out of 'lil swimmers' (for those of you not blessed with unpotty trained kids within the last couple of years they are like diapers only they don't hold water so they don't swell in the pool. -and if they don't hold water what happens to the pee?)
Anyway, no 'lil swimmer' no pool for UE. No pool for UE means no pool for Mommy! This was the end of the world, yesterday was the looooongest day of the summer. The house was 85 by 10 am, 90 by dinner and I couldn't go soak in a pool! (we don't want to talk about what it ws outside)
Many days I go to the pool about 10am soak for a bit, then sit down dripping to feed UE in the shade, he is cool and wet, I am cool and wet, life is good (GMC and JC are splashing in the pool)
Yesterday no pool, dripping with sweat, which actually seems to do nothing to cool one off, I moped around, watching sweat pour off GMC's nose I dragged thru the morning chores. Wiping sweaty hair from JCs face I plodded along thru cleanup. And horror of horrors I had to hold UE snuggled close for a sweaty feeding session. UGH! I was miserable, and did I mention no pool?
I spent my morning so wrapped up in no pool I missed several obvious things...like a hose! We finally went out in the afternoon and goofed off with the hose (I even weeded the garden while out htere) cool and comfy we came in to the house all relaxed and goofy. It was great! why didn't I think of this earlier?
reason: because I was too wrapped up in what I couldn't have. I see it in my kids all the time, the mini tantrum about a red duplo brick, keeping them from using a different but perfectly identical red duplo brick! Or they are having a tantrum over juice refusing to drink water right in front of them (it was in the wrong glass or something).
I see it in them, roll my eyes and suggest they instantly switch (take what you can get) but when I do it, fussing about a pool, it takes me all morning to think of a perfectly good alternative!
I read this blog, http://www.rapidlightning.com/andalee/?cat=6 about preparing kids/kittens.
"They need to do THE ACTUAL THING in youth that they’ll be doing as adults."
Err the actual things thay will be doing? A kitten has limited options...1. hunt or 2. be cute and get fed.
My kids on the other hand have many many options. From Dr to accountant, to farmer, or lawyer, or, or, or.... My kids can do anything (of course!) yet none of it is at all like school...
"They don’t need to learn how to survive emotionally and psychologically in a group of 30+ peers within 12 months of their own age. ....... Nor will they ever need most of the things that they’d be force-fed in traditional “school”. None of these things will prepare them to be “good grown-up cats”. "
Preparing my chilfren instead needs to be a mix of real world oportunity (politics at the pool, math while cooking, mix of ages at a party, calm reading at a library, running a house, etc.) With a bit of 'playing the game' for good measure.
I am not so naive to think that no one judges me by my clothes, but I don't really care, I don't have to. My husband on the other hand,'buisness casual' is required to work. So long as my kids can dress the part when needed, they never need to know a single 'in' style. Nor do they need to know the 'right shoe'. (right hair, right brand...)
No I will spend my time teaching my kids anything they want to know, and I will continue to expose them to all different types of people, backgrounds, walks of life, and incomes. I will not require them to do more than behave, but I will invite them and nyone around me to grow, learn, and live.
So whats that got to do with money? Everything, my kids are here when I spend it, they are here when I balance it, budget it, and waste it. They wont be wondering to SA at 20 learning how to budget 'now that your an adult' they will be using those skills NOW to prepare for being 'all grown up'. (and comming to SA for support/sense of community .)
Laundry, we were folding laundry and I was lamenting how little 'schoolwork' we had been doing lately. Then I thought about it, to fold towels we have to take a square and fold it in half to make a rectangle, then in half again to make a square. That is a great way to learn some simple geometry.
Then there are the hand towels, they need folded in thirds, again great practice.
The big towels I fold still. But yesterday I tried something different, we counted towels and raced. There happened to be 8 hand towels (for GMC) and 8 big towels, so we counted out 8 washclothes and raced to see who could fold them the fastest. Mommy served as commentator, slowing my own work down to keep more in pace with them. (that and I helped rescue JCs washclothes from UE!) THere was a great math lesson.
Then we switched to 'sportsmanship' when I finished my big towels I helped JC with her washclothes (there were 17!) And when GMC finished his handtowels he helped as well. I figure this lesson went over very well, since when Daddy asked who won, GMC replied 'we all did'!
Kids are like sponges, they soak up information whether you want it or not, we can only chose what information is available.