Home > long rant on my job

long rant on my job

September 25th, 2008 at 05:59 pm

I am more scared by the idea that one cannot survive on one income than on the idea that I only have one.

If anything terrible should happen I can easily go get a job (I am a teacher we are always in demand here)

But if I NEEDED two, could I find quality day care? would I want to? Could I find a teachers job paying enough to afford two cars? two workers do not often manage with only one car (not in the suburbs)

Could I pump? you know I hate it (haven't bothered for three kids now). would I be able to find a contraption that does the trick, or would my children's health have to suffer? (don't get me wrong formula has saved the lives of children who's mothers cannot produce compatible milk, but it not the same)

Would I be able to homeschool or would my choices for education be limited by what I can afford or take for free from the govt?

Would I be able to supply a trip to disney land at the expense of having to wake up early every day?

Would I be able to participate in scouting, or would I become a dump and run parent?

Would I be able to have folk over nearly every Friday or would I be to burned out on everything to manage? I am not superwoman, I find my job of taking care of kids and house and scouts and CE hard enough.

And you know I will prolly get flamed for this, but if you don't like your kids and spouse enough to spend all day with them, why have them?

I like hearing them read to me, listening to them play outside with make believe stories (not enough to join them in said make believe, I am deficient in imagination) I can't understand the joy in parenting if you don't get to take HUGE chunks of time with them. My husband has been known to work 9pm-3am so that he can spend most of the day playing with them. (can't manage the dishes at the same time, but hey he is good at play)

Fortunately his job doesn't mind terribly when he is late due to explaining some fraction concept or word problem to the oldest, or listening to the next to youngest talk all about how two green ducks and two green ducks kes four.
Or listening to how the little dog is black with white spots so both Andrew and Peter will like it( story, we have no dog)

My idea of a great time is to take the kids to the playground or science center read to them, or with them, or listen to them read, or play a game with them.

This doesn't mean my whole life is my kids, I am ignoring them right now, one is ignoring his lunch (the milk is warm so he doesn't want to eat it) two are supposed to be napping and one wants to read to me....come back at 2pm, this is my time.

As much as I like my kids I also like my time away...but all day? everyday? that would be too much for me.

All day away from dishes or laundry that I could handle!

If I had the money to hire help, a nanny, governess or tutor would not be my pick.

A maid, chef then secretary, then if there is anything leftover...a tutor. no not even a nanny for diapers, though I do hate them. I suppose a nanny who did the dirty work while I got to giggle with the baby? Maybe.

Am I crazy to want to spend so much time with my kids? Am I the weirdo going about this parenting all wrong? Am I worthless because I can spend a day doing nothing more productive than spending time (and much of it is just that, time with no product) with my children?

I often hear "you can read?" "You can do fractions?", "you mean he is potty trained?" (only during the day) or "she is only 3 months old" (after rolling or while sitting)

So the results of my time are there, just not quite as easy to see as a stack of reports or a tally of sales, or todo list checked off. Does America in general really take more stock in a parents ability to make money than to prepare children for the world? This is not to say kids out of the home are not prepared. what do you think all that money and research goes to in schools daycares and the like?

I do it free, and I apparently am worthless because all I do is teach (and clean) all day.

the true job of a SAHM is to take care of house yes, but the fun part is to prepare children for the world.

Every job has it's boring parts, personally I would hate to be working at my husbands job, building a computer by putting yet another tiny screw in to add the SAME mother board with the SAME video card, so that when done I can type in the SAME password to load the SAME image?

No sorry not for me, though he does have his fun parts, he delights in solving a difficult problem (if they are all the same why doesn't this one work?)

7 Responses to “long rant on my job”

  1. Broken Arrow Says:

    You must be having a rough day. It doesn't seem like you to feel so down.

    Honestly, I don't see any problems with being a SAHM. Is it that forum thread that's bothering you? Truthfully, every couple has to do what works best for them, and sometimes that means 2 incomes, and sometimes that means 1. I remember for a while both a friend of mine's household as well as ours that decided on 1 income because it just worked out best that way.

    That said, I have to say I worry about my income too. Nothing is for certain these days, but that's also how and why I got on the frugal bandwagon in the first place. I realized that the only financial security you can count on is the one you build on your own, through saving, investing, and living modestly.

  2. merch Says:

    worthless - no; priceless - yes.

  3. Caoineag Says:

    I wish more parents enjoyed their kids as much as you obviously do. And I have to agree, that not being able to survive on one income would be very scary (DH's job isn't what you call a safe job being in the mortgage field).

    I could never stay home BUT I also don't have children. So I would be a stay at home maid (ick) not a stay at home parent.

  4. princessperky Says:

    yep it is the thread, every time I hear "I wouldn't feel I was doing anything worthwhile if I stayed home' I wonder just what is so worthless about my job.

  5. princessperky Says:

    Caoineag, I stayed home for a short time before I had kids, and yeah, it is a bit boring.... I doubt I will ever do it again, unless in my old age I have enough grandkids to keep me entertained.

  6. sillyoleme Says:

    Sorry to hear the thread has you so upset, I haven't even read it so I didn't know it had gotten that heated.

    Just to play the devil's advocate though... maybe the parents who said they wouldn't feel like they were accomplishing anything by staying home, maybe that is just their feeling. Maybe they weren't saying that ANYONE who stays home is worthless, they'd just feel unproductive.

    I'm glad you enjoy your children, and I'm sure your kids & husband appreciate all you do for them very much. But, I also don't think it's abnormal for parents (man or woman) to have to, or even want to, work outside the home. Both my parents always did, we went to public school, weren't breast-fed (because my mom worked), my mom still found time to cook dinner, teach us things, take us to do stuff, and be pretty involved in our activities. And we turned out pretty darn well I think. Smile
    My point is - different strokes for different folks. If you wouldn't want to do work outside of the home (like your DH's job), then you are doing more than you share by staying home and taking care of things. But not everyone has the same feelings, strengths, priorities, etc. That doesn't make one of you a better parent than the other, it just makes you different.

    I hope you feel better about it soon, just remember that it doesn't really matter what anybody thinks but your family!

  7. nanamom Says:

    A SAHM's job is to be a MOM that is why it ends in M not C for Clean. You have the most worthwhile job anyone can have. You are raising tomorrow. You are productive and very needed. You don't do it for free. It costs you time energy and actual money also. You are without a doubt the best Mom I know. You are involved with your kids. You are teaching them more than academics (they have those down at a awesome level) you are teaching them responsibility, self worth, to have initiative, to listen, to use their imaginations, and myriads of other things. People who don't feel worthwhile if they stay home are basing worth on income and if that were the case Abraham Lincoln was worthless instead of being a good president. Of course there are others who had no money that contributed intensely to society as well. Edison was broke most of the time so guess the light bulb is worthless. I could go on but you are smart enough to know other examples.

Leave a Reply

(Note: If you were logged in, we could automatically fill in these fields for you.)
Will not be published.

* Please spell out the number 4.  [ Why? ]

vB Code: You can use these tags: [b] [i] [u] [url] [email]