I almost made it through the year without ranting, almost, there was the burning need to point out that our Christmas is not sad despite the lack of interest in Santa, but that was pretty mild. The following is not mild, and I do not recommend allowing your child to read over your shoulder (though I do not swear in print)
In real life I have made it a point to simply avoid discussion over the years and quietly let folk know our children do not hold any false beliefs in Santa. (which makes most parents rather cautious speaking of Santa around them)
BUT.
At a small gathering of friends, in my house, someone was speaking of Santa and my son said quietly 'There is no santa'. I said "shh I know." and was ready to change the subject. My normal tactic for escape when the topic is broached.
I was stopped when a good friend asked if I had spoken to GMC about not saying that. I said "He has been told not to argue religion".
After discussion from her, I continued to reply, "He has been told not to argue religion, but he may state his beliefs."
Apparently the worry that one day my son will tell a child there is no Santa is weighing on her heavily (she works with children). Because that might cause trauma...
I am a bit confused, you mean you want my kid to lie, so you can keep doing so to your kids? Sorry I see no reason to ask my son to lie, nor, considering I am (and she is) a Christian telling him NOT to share his beliefs! Besides you brought it up! I don't go around asking about your beliefs, and he has been told children do not bring up religion, he is too young to debate religion politely. He knows not to try and convert anyone away from their santa belief, he also knows we support his right to speak his belief and will continue to support him.
Suppose a hindu was in the room talking of praying to brahma, should my son not be allowed to say he doesn't believe in it (him/her?)? This is not intended as an insult to Hindus, simply as a reminder that we all have a right to our beliefs...including NOT believing.
The same works in reverse if my son speaks of praying to God and an atheist tells him there is no God, that atheist has the right to say what he/she believes. (and yes IRL we know several folk of various non Christian religions)
My family is well aware that there are many different ways to understand God, as well as many folk who do not understand Him at all. But we do live in a free country, might be losing freedoms quickly, but last I checked we still had freedom of religion, at least in our homes.
Again GMC (as well as his sister) has been told not to argue the religion, simply state his belief and move on. I wont try to convert you away from celebrating santa, if you promise not to try and convert me to the practice.
Many years around Christmas, we role play how to change the subject or find mom for help, if a conversation is centering around religion. I have given him every tool I can to avoid losing friends over Santa, what more do I need to do, short of asking him to lie?
If others are allowed to state their beliefs regarding santa, why can't he?
The annual Christmas rant
December 29th, 2008 at 06:30 pm
December 29th, 2008 at 08:12 pm 1230581540
As a question, what does this woman plan to do if a jewish friend says there is no Santa?
In any case, I agree with you (even though I lie to my children about Santa).
December 29th, 2008 at 09:17 pm 1230585442
December 29th, 2008 at 10:54 pm 1230591243
December 30th, 2008 at 12:18 am 1230596304
Is your child well adjusted enough to allow children to believe the lies that their parents tell them?
Or does he feel the need to enlighten them as to what he believes?
December 30th, 2008 at 01:47 am 1230601635
December 30th, 2008 at 02:11 am 1230603072
I have two cousins whose parents told them when they were little that Santa is kind of like "Bert and Ernie"... pretend, but fun to pretend. These kids (now adults) hated what they perceived as "missing out on all the fun." They both "lie" to their children about Santa.
I don't really see it as a lie, but of course, to each his own. It's magical for children, it really is. I tell my children the truth about everything else.
December 30th, 2008 at 12:29 pm 1230640197
December 30th, 2008 at 02:14 pm 1230646462
Mom-sense, it never occurred to my son he could change others beliefs, he simply states his side much like any smaller child saying "I am a boy" they are just checking.
ME, I really don't think my rant was holier than though, I apologize if it came off that way.
December 30th, 2008 at 04:46 pm 1230655589
December 30th, 2008 at 06:25 pm 1230661559
But, it's sticky. The Santa thing is kind of different. It is a difficult thing for a child to handle. & it's something your family is in the extreme minority with. I'd be grateful it only comes up once a year.
As far as the other parents though, they do need to get a grip. Odds are they won't find out the "truth" from your children. They will from other children of "believing" families. & Jilly - your comment brought back a memory of a similar debate I had as a child. I thought my friend was quite silly to believe in Santa, but she was fiercely adamant that I was crazy. The proof had to do with something about sleeping bags that only Santa could fine. LOL. I still remember that "debate" to this day - I must have been 7 or something. But yeah, I still remember my friend's passion for Santa. I decided to just let the other kids believe after that.
January 5th, 2009 at 05:23 pm 1231176229