Home > The annual Christmas rant

The annual Christmas rant

December 29th, 2008 at 06:30 pm

I almost made it through the year without ranting, almost, there was the burning need to point out that our Christmas is not sad despite the lack of interest in Santa, but that was pretty mild. The following is not mild, and I do not recommend allowing your child to read over your shoulder (though I do not swear in print)

In real life I have made it a point to simply avoid discussion over the years and quietly let folk know our children do not hold any false beliefs in Santa. (which makes most parents rather cautious speaking of Santa around them)


At a small gathering of friends, in my house, someone was speaking of Santa and my son said quietly 'There is no santa'. I said "shh I know." and was ready to change the subject. My normal tactic for escape when the topic is broached.

I was stopped when a good friend asked if I had spoken to GMC about not saying that. I said "He has been told not to argue religion".

After discussion from her, I continued to reply, "He has been told not to argue religion, but he may state his beliefs."

Apparently the worry that one day my son will tell a child there is no Santa is weighing on her heavily (she works with children). Because that might cause trauma...

I am a bit confused, you mean you want my kid to lie, so you can keep doing so to your kids? Sorry I see no reason to ask my son to lie, nor, considering I am (and she is) a Christian telling him NOT to share his beliefs! Besides you brought it up! I don't go around asking about your beliefs, and he has been told children do not bring up religion, he is too young to debate religion politely. He knows not to try and convert anyone away from their santa belief, he also knows we support his right to speak his belief and will continue to support him.

Suppose a hindu was in the room talking of praying to brahma, should my son not be allowed to say he doesn't believe in it (him/her?)? This is not intended as an insult to Hindus, simply as a reminder that we all have a right to our beliefs...including NOT believing.

The same works in reverse if my son speaks of praying to God and an atheist tells him there is no God, that atheist has the right to say what he/she believes. (and yes IRL we know several folk of various non Christian religions)

My family is well aware that there are many different ways to understand God, as well as many folk who do not understand Him at all. But we do live in a free country, might be losing freedoms quickly, but last I checked we still had freedom of religion, at least in our homes.

Again GMC (as well as his sister) has been told not to argue the religion, simply state his belief and move on. I wont try to convert you away from celebrating santa, if you promise not to try and convert me to the practice.

Many years around Christmas, we role play how to change the subject or find mom for help, if a conversation is centering around religion. I have given him every tool I can to avoid losing friends over Santa, what more do I need to do, short of asking him to lie?

If others are allowed to state their beliefs regarding santa, why can't he?

11 Responses to “The annual Christmas rant”

  1. merch Says:

    In this country, the word tolerate has been changed to accept. People must understand the two are not the same.

    As a question, what does this woman plan to do if a jewish friend says there is no Santa?

    In any case, I agree with you (even though I lie to my children about Santa).

  2. M E 2 Says:

    I love these kind of discussions. You are in the VAST minority and yet YOU are the one with the holier than thou attitude. Nice. @@

  3. asmom Says:

    Interesting. Don't most kids learn there is no Santa from other kids? As for causing trauma, please......

  4. mom-sense Says:

    Is your child well adjusted enough to allow children to believe the lies that their parents tell them?
    Or does he feel the need to enlighten them as to what he believes?

  5. creditcardfree Says:

    Religion and beliefs related to them can cause a little more discord than harmony in my opinion. Sorry it had to upset you during Christmas.

  6. swimgirl Says:

    I will NEVER let on that there is no Santa. My dad still brings me one or two items and claims, " I found these under our tree on Christmas morning. Santa must have left them!"

    I have two cousins whose parents told them when they were little that Santa is kind of like "Bert and Ernie"... pretend, but fun to pretend. These kids (now adults) hated what they perceived as "missing out on all the fun." They both "lie" to their children about Santa.

    I don't really see it as a lie, but of course, to each his own. It's magical for children, it really is. I tell my children the truth about everything else.

  7. jillybean Says:

    One of my favorite memories from about 4 years ago was watching my daughter and her best friend (both age 5 I think, maybe 6) "debate" the existence of Santa Claus. My daughter (a believer in Santa) and the neighbor boy (whose family have similar beliefs to yours) carried on a good 15 minute heated discussion in my living room. I was laughing so hard I had tears streaming down my face. Neither one gave in, both had strong "facts" to argue their points and in the end they agreed to disagree. (That debate suits both their personalities). I called his Mom and she was worried it had caused my daughter some anguish and I reassured her it did not. I only wish I had somehow gotten it on tape. The discussion was a very healthy one and did no harm to either child. They are still best friends, and I am good friends with his parents.

  8. princessperky Says:

    Jilly, yours was the first comment I read this morning and it brought a huge smile to my face Smile. while I doubt my friends would take such an attitude on the santa debate, I bet it was awesome to listen to!

    Mom-sense, it never occurred to my son he could change others beliefs, he simply states his side much like any smaller child saying "I am a boy" they are just checking.

    ME, I really don't think my rant was holier than though, I apologize if it came off that way.

  9. nanamom Says:

    i don't think your rant was holier than though. As a parent who has had 2 generations of kids to raise and doesn't tell them Santa is real I support you 100%. My children have been taught to not comment on Santa to a child or if their are children present. In that situation he comes over to me and I knowing what is about to be said nod and say I know honey which usually satisfies the 5 year old. The 3 year old isn't so easy so we just try to not have her in situations where it is brought up. I warned his Karate teacher that if he brings up the subject in his presence he could have consequences (from DS2) and the man avoids it whenever DS2 is present. IMO Perky's children and mine are more polite when faced with an adult who discusses Santa than most adults are when faced with a person who discussed belief in Jesus (or lack there of).

  10. monkeymama Says:

    I don't know, I have never said in a religious conversation, "There is no God." I know better. Wink I mean, obviously that statement would open up a debate. Just as the Santa statement opens up a can of worms. I think with age just comes a better reading of the situation.

    But, it's sticky. The Santa thing is kind of different. It is a difficult thing for a child to handle. & it's something your family is in the extreme minority with. I'd be grateful it only comes up once a year. Wink
    As far as the other parents though, they do need to get a grip. Odds are they won't find out the "truth" from your children. They will from other children of "believing" families. & Jilly - your comment brought back a memory of a similar debate I had as a child. I thought my friend was quite silly to believe in Santa, but she was fiercely adamant that I was crazy. The proof had to do with something about sleeping bags that only Santa could fine. LOL. I still remember that "debate" to this day - I must have been 7 or something. But yeah, I still remember my friend's passion for Santa. I decided to just let the other kids believe after that.

  11. Scrooge Says:

    You teach your children about Santa...then the Easter Bunny and throw in the tooth fairy too. You also possibly teach them about God, Jesus, Allah, or some other form of higher being. Then they find out that you were only kidding when you talked about Santa, the Bunny, and the fairy...but yet somehow you still expect them to believe in your 'religion'. I am glad that you speak honestly to your children Princess. And the holier than thou comment...way off base. Christmas is a magical time for children, even without Santa. In fact without Santa the kids know that Mom and Dad can find the special sleeping bags, or in my nephew's case from a few years back, "I know Santa is real, because my Dad would never get me a gameboy color!!' I stood in line with his Dad for 2 hours to check out with the gameboys...*2 HOURS* and a fictitious man is going to get all the credit...I don't think so.

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