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Yours, mine, and ours

October 9th, 2011 at 07:07 pm

Before I got married I held down 3 jobs to pay the bills. (and before that I had two, but lived in my car). I wouldn't call that spoiled. Yet I really in many ways was, what I really wanted I got, every time.

After we got married I worked with kids, he worked with computers money was just fine, not dealt with the smartest way, but it was fine. I have no recollection of the total income, but it covered the bills and left too much for being silly (dinner out every night, really?) Though since I couldn't drive I still packed lunch every day!

Even though we both had jobs, we combined the money and spent it together.

Then when we had kids - I stopped working to take care of them. I haven't really had money to call my own since.

It is our money, if I wasn't here to take care of the kids, he wouldn't be able to go make the money. Conversely if he wasn't out making money I wouldn't be able to stay here. I can't possibly see how we could separate it into 'his' or 'mine'.

Most of the money goes to bills (including debt, and savings), then way too much for the volunteer organizations, and after that a bit of splurging I don't think either of us keeps track but all told we both splurge about the same amounts, though not at the same time. He gets more junky chocolate or pops, I get big stuff less often. When he gets big stuff he waits for the amazing deal, and even then doesn't always take the plunge.

All in all though it averages out, and the basics are all taken care of.

It is our money, it has to be how can we possibly claim to be deeply in love if we are not interested in looking out for the others best interest, monetarily and otherwise.

4 Responses to “Yours, mine, and ours”

  1. Jerry Says:

    It is so true. You are either in it as a team, or you aren't, and while I think that the nuts and bolts of financial arrangements may be different from couple to couple, I think that communication and understanding are the things that lead to making it work overall. If you can't talk about income, savings, investments, insurance, and all of those things, then how can you manage them well?

  2. M E 2 Says:

    I had a professor in college who had the best theory. The husbands's money was their money, the wife's money was her money. ;-) I totally agree. LOL

  3. imgrum Says:

    Thank you! This is what I need to find.

  4. Sirius Says:

    You have a beautiful love. I really admire you basketball legends

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