For the first time in over a year I am actually full! This is not about having food, we have plenty, this is about me feeling full...I havn't since befoer I was pegnant with UE! (he is 9 months old).

After ahving been hungry for the last 18 months It feels oddly wonderful to be 'stuffed'.

On a side note I actually mowed the lawn today...well the front anywy. I briefly thought about gettign push mower to save on gas, but after reading in the forums how you have to mow moe often, I am totally never getting one! This was the first time in a month some parts of the lawn were mowed! And you can tell from the length.

So I still havn't gotten rid of my machine, and I thought I aught to be able to handle a simple thing like patching jeans. GMC has two pair with two holes each.

After 20 minutes countless starts and stops, I wouldn't even finish the other side! I give up! I have a friend who patched her kids jeans and didn't seem to mind, so I am asking her to do them.

I want to pay her but my husband doesn't want to spend the money (he didn't mind the 20 minute struggle)

I made waffles, they were delicious, I used the last of my eggs for them, so to bake for church I had to find eggless (I know, I know, go get soy flour!)

The recipie I found was for thin cookies, with just sugar, butter, flour, and milk (vanilla, and cinnamon too) - they were AWESOME! except I couldn't cook them all right. You had to start with a cold cookie sheet and well after cooking once they were no longer cold.... So I think I will be making htem again, but freezing two thirds of the batch..so I oinly do one oven full each time..that is still quite a few cookies and they are very good. My husband even went in and found them (no one put them out) so we could take them home..and he was eating them all afternoon ....they are all gone now!

Now the yeast trouble yes it lives from the freezer, but not very well, nothing is riasing too much..a little, but not a lot.. I am not sure if I need to redo it form a dry pack, or if there is some way to 'encourage' yeast to grow.

That was the fearful question my neighbor asked yesterday.

Honestly, with a look of 'oh no I might not be able to take a cold house'! she asks if we turn the heat on!

I said yes, we turn it on..at 65 all winter.. I never let the house get colder than 65 less it does in the middle of the night late fall and I don't notice it.. I figure what I don't know wont hurt me.

Right now the house is 'cooled' to a nice breezy 80 degrees, and we have a fan on, and I am wearing a sleeveless camisole.... which is a fancy word for barely there shirt, and jeans. I am not sweating, and in fact am quite comfortable, ok I admit it I am a bit chilly, thinking of putting a top shirt on....

I might be weird, but I think it is more that I am used to it, been living in a pretty hot house for most of my life, PA might not be as hot as NC, but there was never air conditioning when I was a kid. A couple years when first married with A/C didn't ruin me, I can take it. My poor husbnand on the other hand...

I think he could get used to it if he was here all day, but he spends his days in a server room, with computers, and no one lets those babys get to hot!

The kids btw are fine, nothing more than the occassional sweat when they wonder into their owwn rooms with no fan on.

i ahve a budget..ok so I had one awhile ago, but I did it again, and it is written in the calendar, where I will be able to find it later!

I wrote out the house, the car, the utilites,mini savings, and a yearly WAG/12 (yearly is car stuff, HOA, and termite)

And what is left is what we have for groceries, gas, splurging, and gifts, about 447 each month...not a lot, but any overtime = a splurge, course I should be strickter about the groceries...but I am not..yet.

I did look at it and was actually happy, we can afford to live here! we are not living paycheck to paycheck.

I would like to save more, and I would like to have a bigger EF (right now is 1000, in checking and about double that in ING) but at least there is one, and it is growing (slowly)

My dream money solver right now is about 500 more amonth, cause figuring numbers with 500 into savings is much more fun. Goals are achieved in months rather than years (ok like 25 months, but 25 months is way better than 25 years!)

(besides being a mom that is)

Editor of a homeschool magazine, preferably one devoted to bragging about the kids . Not just my kids, but lots of homeschooled kids. Any kid.

Full of ideas about fun things to do, interesting facts, different lnks to fun or interesting websites. And photos of genious kids of course .

Preferably a magazine with two sections, one by kids (as much as possible) and one by parents.

So why don't I start one? Fear. I am afraid I would be all alone in my desire. so no one would read it and no one would help write it..

While putting some dishes away, Hubby looks up and says 'flowers!'. He was looking directly at some beutiful yellow flowers that my wonderful JC had brought in for me. Absolutly dripping with pollen!

We took them outside, and my wonderful husband spent 30 mintues transplanting them into a nifty spot right where I can see them form my bed! it was adorably cute, and left me feeling like some sort of invalid!

But I spent the 30 mijutes in our room with our filter fan, slowly but surly starting to breath easier... till they came back in! I made them all strip and get into PJs, I considered making them get showers, but thought they were prolly all rather hungry and let them eat.

I came out of the room 15 minutes later to join them and found instantly I had trouble breathing... I only half believed the Dr that I had allergies.. untill tonight! I believe it now.

And unlike Jack bower you have to sleep for some of them!

There are so many things I want to do in a day, and well only 24 hours! I have to decide just what I want to spend my time on..like a budget. There is only so much money, and billions of things to do with it..we have to decide just what we want to do.

Time wise, I want to work out....clean up..play with kids..and be alone..and play with DH..plus some paperwork, cooking, sleeping, discipline ...reading ...learning ....ok I think my 24 is used up now..

I just typed the list quick off the top of my head..and I realized....Poor dh he is after alone time! And silly me (or not so silly) working out is before kids..so is cleaning...hmm

On a side note..it hurts to breath again..maybe I should take my medicine.... I so do not want to be dependant on medicine for the rest of my life...

Apparently it is legal to run up rediculous credit card bills and to take out 'pay day loans' (at terms the mafia would cringe to enforce!)

but they are trying to make it

illegal to play with your money...

I hate living in a country where freedom takes place to legislation to 'protect people from themseves'

K so most everything is half done, I have a batch of oatmeal muffins, one of oatmeal cookies in the freezer, sure hope they freeze well. and we ate half of the eggs and strawberries. I also shredded a bunch of carrots, I will shred more if we don't eat them all by thursday.

1. shred carrots half done
2. make applesauce..maybe apple turnovers
3. 'thaw' yeast..find out if it lives
4. bake bread if it does
5. bake for church sunday half done
6. bake/cook for company friday..I think.
7. cut/eat strawberries half done
8. make/eat egg salad half done

So I took that quiz to see how financially secure I am..I got a 61, and one of the thing recomended was to write down my goals, short medium and long term. then write down the amount saved torward them each month and a plan for how long it would take to achieve them.

umm I want everything,a nd it will take forever and a day!

ok a bit more serious:

Short = mattress..I apparently need to double what we have and then some.

Medium - yearly vacation (the real kind, not visitng family)

long - pay off house...

And the savings? umm well the medium is done for this year, the short is gonna take prolly till next spring if I don't buckle down. And the long will be ...oh yeah, forever and a day!

It ain't that easy.....

I tell myself it is, and honestly throwing a load in is easy, boiling some eggs is easy, throwing a batch of cookies or bars or muffins in is all pretty easy. So is cutting an apple or making applesauce, apple turnovers, or pizza pockets. Emptying the dishwasher or filling it, putting stuff away, or wiping a table. Balancing a checkbook, marking down a recipet, mailing a bill, or banking some chnge.

It is all easy, but......

You gotta do it ALL!

Or at least I try to do it all (and then some). Some days I manage and I think "what was so hard about that?" and some days my kids whine, my eggs burn, my laundry gets lost between the hamper and the dresser, my frugality gets lost in the screams of a baby, and I remember just what is so hard.

We went to the store to buy two mattresses, one for JC, she just got a twin bed, and one for us (we have a queen).

And we only have one.

I glanced at the price of a mattress in a store, set a figure in my mind to save for, and saved it (eons ago..) we waited till now to get it so that we could get JCs twin at the same time, figured it would save on delivery (and no way a mattress would fit in our car).

Well apparently the price was ofor half a matress! You have to buy the box and the mattress sepperatly, and they are the same price! Which leaves us with only half the cost of a matrtess in the savings account!

Well we had a little more to buy JCs matress (which cost well over our estimate) but we bought hers..and now we are waiting till we save more to buy ours...and I want a steak dinner..steak or new matress?

Course we have the money in the savings..but I really don't want to use it...

So I was being silly thinking of names for a website, and I thought I would type them in to see what came up.

What I found was a directory of sorts...a website dedicated to links for other sites on the same subject...with the main site for sale!

And for sale on a site along with thousands of other sites! I dunno what the cost to register a site and 'own it' is...hmmm I dunno how one does that.....but someone does,. and went out of their way to register thousands...

I clicked the 'two letter domain' list, and 4y, 2E, 1a all came up as availible for sale. Just make an offer! I wonder how much money they make storing names...

main site

I folowed this link for 'you got owned' which is freaky..but then I discovered way cooler the

site

that one is well worth clicking!

The Magazine for Homeschool kids by Homeschool kids

K I read it, seems to be an interesting zine mainly by one girl (but a very good writer).

Interesting Parallels between Hebrew, Greek & Roman Education

And this shows the wonderful falacy of 'homeeducation' being 'new' . That and the wonderful advantages we have now in teaching children to read..I love little primers

So I was well webwondering...and I came across this site:

Its just money and he talked about www.zillow.com

I put in my house info and had a moments confusion as my house seemed placed much closer to the front of the community than it aught to be. I finally figured it out, then moved the map to my real house...and discovered not a speck of green in my yard!

Not one single speck when looking at the 'satelite view'! I have an absolute desert of a yard that blends in with the empty lots next door (since filled) Really looks terrible! I can't imagine anyone but a tree hugger hoping to reform the land buying this house!

But on a slightly sadistic note I noticed the number of neighbors with green front yars whose back yards showed up on satelite as just as brown as mine ain't I a big meanie!

You have to register to comment, which sucks if you want comments.

I listened to Jeffreys interview on

money blogger podcast And I had some small comment I wanted to make, but first you have to register, which is no big deal, except i already did...and I can't remember what username or what password I used..which means after spending 5 minutes trying to figure it out I forgot what I wanted to say, I still am not logged into blogger, and I made no comment.

I hate that!

So the problem is I am unhappy, why on earth I would be unhappy with three ownderful children an absolutly amazing husband and plenty of food/shelter is beyond me. The problem remains I am unhappy.

How about a maid? a maid would free up considerable amounts of time...so do I need a maid or time?

How about a personal chef? somehow I can't see me eating what someone else picked 5 times a day..and I do eat 5 times a day...did I mention I am hungry?

Ok how about a perfect body? (is about as possible as a maid, so why not go all out!) hmm I have no time to enjoy the one my DH seems to think is awesome, I don't think losing one inch all around would really make that much of a difference....we are back to time.

Maybe a bigger house? more room for stuff so it wouldn't be ...everywhere....but then more space means more to clean...I have no time to clean what I have!

How about a babysiter? then I woudl have loads of time...can I get a wet nurse thrown in for fun? That would free up time and energy! no more making milk! Ah but then you know it isn't really best for my kids...less I could clone myself!

Perfect I figured it out! I get a clone to be the maid, one to be the chef/baker, one to be the babysitter/parent/whatever..and I get to be the err wife. I like it

Today is not a good day, not good at all.

First UE pooped in the tub

And we have no bleach, I have bleach in my cleaner, but I wanted to just leave the toys soak in bleach for a bit….But I can't...

Then I discovered I have to wash the swim stuff again. No one line dried them last night.

Then JC missed the potty...and tried to clean it up herself, she is soo 'helpful'. Did I mention we are out of bleach?

Now GMC tried to pour himself a drink, of red koolaid, we aught to ban red koolaid. (we water it down and it is a rare treat, but that isn't enough anymore)

I am about ready to fall asleep at the keyboard, and the kids are making a HUGE mess with toys today (they usually do, but today it irritates me)

Oh and to top it all off, for some reason I can't get my hair stick to stick without hurting me...

And of course the ILs may or may not be stopping by at any point, but I wont know cause I don't have a phone....

And I yahoo searched a photo of 'annie' the girl from the movie....do you know what you find when you search a girls name on yahoo? Closed that quick.

And btw I feel insulted by something someone posted...ain't that a waste of feeling! good grief. It is anonymous, online, no one knows me from Adam, why would I be insulted?

One good thing, DH found Annie for me.

image search for aileen quinn annie


Tomorrow, the sun'll come out tomorrow, wonder if it would mind hurrying up a bit?

The ILS brought the frame for JCs 'ladder bed'. It was at one time a bunk bed for my husband and his brother so the headboard and foot board are 'laddered' so a kid can climb up it easily. It will never be a bunk bed cause the holes to connect them were filled in. Which is fine. anyway,

We need to get a mattress for her, and while we are there we are finally going to get one for us. It will have to be delivered, and we have to find free time to go pick it out/pay for it. but now that we have the frame we can. I can't wait.

JC says she would like a pink bedspread, since it is summer we can take all the time in the world to find the 'perfect one'.. OR something that will last her into the teen years anyway. No fad blankets for her, we need something she wont mind using now and in the future, not to mention soemthing that will be versitile and go with any future sisters bedspread....(not perfect match, just in the room non clashing)

Ok so I am not one of those people that has to plan everything down to the minute, in fact I am rather flexible, things can change in an instant and I can usually come up with a way to roll with it. Often still accomplishing some or all of my immediate goals.

BUT

This is a big but, I like to have some clue to start with so I can make contingency plans and so I knwo what goasl must be accomplished.

So this whole thing where no information is known, or partial information is given or misinformation passed along really irritates me.

Wanna know what the plans are for today? so do I, so do I...I hate being powerless

So awhile ago I tried to concentrate on fitness for amonth. it didn't work to well. I could list the excuses but I already spent the entire month doing that!

I pretty much go to the pool everyday, and you might think that is useful, but it isn't. I mainly hold UE while the other two play. (BTW did I mention GMC can swim the whole 25 meter length of the pool?-dogpaddle) sure I bounce UE or swing him around, but it just doesn't equal a daily 1/2 mile walk.

So I need to find more time, I need to MAKE time for me to work out other than the pool. I am debating on before the pool or after.

I already wont go to the pool till I have dishes, laundry and breakfast taken care of, but that is mainly for the kids..I mean I do most of the work, but it helps them know what we have to get done. Most days that is not to hard and we get out the door on time (pool opens at 10) so adding something to the work sounds semi reasonable, but then it might take longer.

I dunno, maybe I am just to busy making excuses to get out of toning the abs!

FIL and BIL came last yesterday and put it up!

I love it, it still needs doors,and I am a bit worried about splinters inside, but it is the right size it makes my kitchen look so much bigger, and I can't wait to put stuff under it!

I really really want to diss my MIL...

For the week we canceled bibleschool so that we would be here to see them....

Day one it rained...and we managed fine, we had a contingency plan and we got a phone call earlyish telling us that the day was rained out, plus there was a baseball game from the other cousin. No big, we had to go to the store anyway.

Day two: "if we come before 12:30 we willlook for you at the pool" This leaves me with the expectation of an early afternoon visit.
-At 12:30 I wasn't supprised they weren't here, they were afterall only saying 'if' -at 1:30 I was happy UE wasn't napping anyway, so I wasn't really ready.
-at 2:30 I thought i shouldn't make pizza I will be flouring up the kitchen and in the way.
-at 330 I thought I should have made pizza...and gone to the pool.
-at 430 I thought I shouldn't vent at DH he doesn't need to hear it.....
-at 5:30 (after dinner was cleaned up) I decided to come vent online .

In prep for them comming:
-I had the kitchen cleaner and clearer of 'stuff' (even moved the chairs out) so they had nothing to move when they put the bench stuff in, ...
-I kept the kids toys to a minimum so they would be easy clean up (good as my kids can be at clean up it all goes out the window when we have company)
-I carefully ran an extra load of laundry so that my kids were wearing clothes that grandma brought for them (dressed them that way yesterday too..)
-I cooked grilled cheese, I can make extra if they do come and no leftovers if they don't...not to mention the nbo pizza so I am not flouring up the kidtchen.
-I left the air on, albeit at 80 not the 75 we will turn it down to if they ever come, but still.

I did all that for nothing...Now I know things come up, and yesterday I might not like it, but no big, it is hard on vacation, and today it shouldn't be that big of a deal...I am only annoyed at wasted effort, cause I am lazy, and effort is well effort .

I keep saying 'things come up' over and over to myself...do you think it will work? Will I stop being annoyed anytime soon?

Actually yes, after putting it all down here for the world to see I do feel better..for now....'Course I will feel like a heel if they ever see this!

We live in a different world, a world of helathfood, and structure, and rules, and excersise and.... it is weird when visitors from the other world (the one we used to live in) come visit!

Yesterday for a treat we were given apples, the kids love apples, green ones, or yellow...we never eat red....apparently the visiting teens preffered my yellow to red too (I used to only eat red, now it is only green or yellow)

We were also given some bread and cheese product in a mini pack...you paid how much for 5 tiny sticks of bread and some fake cheese like substance? (I used to too)

Shopping we were offered new shoes for JC, she has 4 pair, more than anyone else in the house, and one of each 'kind' known to man (well worn in summer) oh except flipflops...she doesn't need new sandals, though yes they were cute. (I used to buy shoes just cause they were cute, had no room for em, got em squished, ruined)

I appriciate the attempt to treat, and I actually appricate how hard it can be, normal doesn't work for us. No sugar en mass (small quantities yes) no fake food en mass (share it with daddy). We make it so hard!

Then there was the conversation about sitting at a TV w.... the conversation about why we didn't rewind the movie for the kids to rewatch I don't actaully want them to watch an hour two days in a row! I remember when DH and I would sit blankly in front of the computer like that, but I would never want my kids to live like that.

As long as I never forget that I too once did all that I am going ot enjoy the benifits of living with my 'different view' And I am sooooooooo greatful my husband is here with me! I couldn't live if he wasn't on my side helping keep the kids healthy.

interesting article from another blog here

Middle class

"What about food? Surely, families are eating out more and buying shopping carts full of designer water and exotic fruit? In fact, today’s family of four actually spends 23 percent less on food (at-home and restaurant eating combined) than its counterpart of a generation ago. The slimmed-down profit margins in discount supermarkets have combined with new efficiencies in farming to cut more costs for the American family.

Hmm so I am spending less than my grandma did to feed my kids? And the article goes on to note other areas are cheaper now, appliances ect...

so why am I able to be a SAHM?

"What happens to the family that tries to get by on a single income today? Their expenses would be a little lower because they can save on childcare and taxes, and, if they are lucky enough to live close to shopping and other services, perhaps they can get by without a second car. But if they tried to live a normal, middle-class life in other ways—buy an average home, send their younger child to preschool, purchase health insurance, and so forth—they would be left with only $5,500 a year to cover all their other expenses. ..."

That is the secret, I do not live a 'normal' middle class life (BTW I livein middleclass suburbia, but our wages are 'poor' - partly because it is just him working) I have the middle class house, and one middle class car...thats it...the rest is all frugal..even the homeschooling, it is way cheaper to homeschool thant to have to get a second car and pay for all the other 'stuff' that coems with school..especially at the younger ages. I could never afford to send my kids to public school!

Another question I now have...why is loan sharking legal nowadays? I mean even in the dark ages it was at least labeled as such..you borrowed off the mafia, you were asking for trouble or the dirty grungy guy in a back alley.....but those nice people in suits don't really look like the mafia...they just loan like it....not that the libertarian in me needs any more regulation...just I dunno....I hate to see people taken advantage off with pages of legalese..and such.

A short while ago (by historic standards anyway) You couldn't keep your lunch hot or cold for hours on end. Sure you could pack up a lunch in a pail, but who knows what temperature it was when you ate it. Ona hot day, prolly super hot, tin pail, lots of sun...In the winter prolly frozen, tin pail, ice and snow around...

So either you ate it the way it was, or you devised some odd way to keep it cooler/hotter. Like burying it with a hot stone, or by the fire, (good way to lose it/get it burned up) or you let it drag in a cool stream (real good way to get it eaten by an animal of sorts.) In general you had a bit of a problem. but if you needed to be working all day and didn't want to walkk hom, you suffered.

Nowadays we have coolers that will keep ice frozen for 24 hours, and insulated thermous' that will keep hot foods hot for 12, so why do we hardly ever pack real food? Oh sure you see lots of people packing pop and potato chips, but how often do you see someone packing dinner? or lunch. One that doesn't come out of a vaccum sealed bag? What is the point of all that tech, if it is just used to keep ice umm ice?

We ran out of 'lil swimmers' (for those of you not blessed with unpotty trained kids within the last couple of years they are like diapers only they don't hold water so they don't swell in the pool. -and if they don't hold water what happens to the pee?)

Anyway, no 'lil swimmer' no pool for UE. No pool for UE means no pool for Mommy! This was the end of the world, yesterday was the looooongest day of the summer. The house was 85 by 10 am, 90 by dinner and I couldn't go soak in a pool! (we don't want to talk about what it ws outside)

Many days I go to the pool about 10am soak for a bit, then sit down dripping to feed UE in the shade, he is cool and wet, I am cool and wet, life is good (GMC and JC are splashing in the pool)

Yesterday no pool, dripping with sweat, which actually seems to do nothing to cool one off, I moped around, watching sweat pour off GMC's nose I dragged thru the morning chores. Wiping sweaty hair from JCs face I plodded along thru cleanup. And horror of horrors I had to hold UE snuggled close for a sweaty feeding session. UGH! I was miserable, and did I mention no pool?

I spent my morning so wrapped up in no pool I missed several obvious things...like a hose! We finally went out in the afternoon and goofed off with the hose (I even weeded the garden while out htere) cool and comfy we came in to the house all relaxed and goofy. It was great! why didn't I think of this earlier?

reason: because I was too wrapped up in what I couldn't have. I see it in my kids all the time, the mini tantrum about a red duplo brick, keeping them from using a different but perfectly identical red duplo brick! Or they are having a tantrum over juice refusing to drink water right in front of them (it was in the wrong glass or something).

I see it in them, roll my eyes and suggest they instantly switch (take what you can get) but when I do it, fussing about a pool, it takes me all morning to think of a perfectly good alternative!

I have found that procrastination is my first tactic when any problem arrises. Sometimes it sounds reasonable "we'll cross that bridge when we come to it" But in reality putting things off costs money.

Even if I have to plan two or three options to cover what 'may happen' I will at least have a better idea of how to deal.

If I actually balance the checkbook I know what I have to splurge with, and I can plan for what I can't. If I actually search early for presents I can avoid the last minute gas and buy anything no matter the cost trouble. (course no amount of searching helps for some people, they are just hard to buy for period!)

If I plan a trip to go the shortest route covering all that needs done, or pack as much the night before to save time I can save on the 'stress costs' (like eating out, or extra chocolate, chocoale is a big stress reliever!)

Now if I could only put that good intentions to good use.....